Alison/TINK: Welcome our beautiful Blogger Arme to out 3rd official discussion.
We hope that you are as comfortable as can be
So many of us M.E. sufferers, especially those of us who are house bound, often face intense isolation.
Too much human contact can cause dramatic increases in our symptomology.
So many turn to, and rely on, pets for companionship and friendship. The quote 'Pets devour the loneliness. They give us purpose, responsibility, a reason for getting up in the morning and a reason to look to the future' is more apt for ill people than words can often manifest.
For me personally, I am too ill for a pet. But I can very much understand the unmatchable value that a pet can bring.
I spend almost all of my time on my own. It is the only way I can 'cope' with life.
But I know of many people with various severe illnesses who rely on their pets almost more than they rely on human contact.
What role do your pets play in your life and health Jodi?
Jodi/HBIRD: For me and for many other people that have M.E. (and other serious diseases) our pets play an important role in keeping us going and getting us through the days.
I have two cats; Geesha and Ziggy. I love them both to bits.
My cats have kept me company for so many thousands of hours that I would otherwise have spent completely alone. Being alone but having a cat or two for company is so much nicer than just being completely alone. To me it really makes a difference.
M.E. makes you so isolated, because even a little bit of time spent in the company of another person and having simple conversation can be too much to cope with without relapse very often. Severe M.E. means spending almost all of your time with little human company or contact.
My two cats also make me laugh out loud at least once a day and often a lot more. They are such funny little things and always up to something new.
Alison/Tink; Want to share a humorous example sweetie, share their joy?
Jodi/Hbird; You know I do!
One day my cat Geesha was running around my dayroom chasing something. It seemed to get away from her and she started turning left and right to try and find it. Looking everywhere. Then she turned around one more time and I saw the most enormous spider stuck to her side, holding on for dear life! It was hiding from her there. Geesha had no idea and kept turning around looking for the thing, looking more and more confused at where it could have got to. I laughed so hard it hurt!
(Then I quickly got her outside so she could shake off the spider out there of course!)
I could go on and on with dozens of funny anecdotes, but I'll spare you that. I realise they may only be funny to me!
Daily laughs for someone with M.E.are such a special thing, and so important. With all the grim realities we face who needs to laugh more than us!
Alison/TINK: I have a most treasured 'friend' who suffers terribly from a horrible brain illness. She gets extremely dizzy regularly. Due to this she remains alone with her wonderful husband most of her time. The only ventures out were with him, and they were short and controlled. Then she got her beloved dog. With her dog by her side, my friend found the confidence to go on short walls, knowing that if she had a bad turn, she was not alone. I know that this is an example of many M.E. sufferers too who would otherwise be unable to take short walks alone.
However for those of us who are house bound, even having a pet can be too much. I could not cope with their movement or noise.
Jodi/HBIRD: Yes, not everyone with M.E. will be well enough to have a pet, sadly. Having a pet and not being well enough to see it much can also be terrible.
Dogs are difficult because they need walking -something impossible for most M.E. patients. Cats are easier than dogs and there are also birds and mice and rats to consider, depending on your own illness level and which animals you like and dislike. (Rats aren't for everyone!)
I'm not sure about fish. The noise from the tropical fish filters I find absolutely excruciating for one thing and also, although they are low maintenance they are also not very interactive.
Alison/Tink; I don't know, I used to have a Goldfish when I was younger (so no noisy filter required thank goodness) She was amazing. What they say about fish having a 2 second memory is untrue, she knew where we fed her. She would also do this uber cool, totally weird thing of keeping her mouth closed when you'd talk to her but open and bub it when you'd need an answer!
A few years ago I read an article about an ill lady who found solace and inspiration in a snail of all things. She also learnt how to be peaceful and still by watching the general way the quiet snail lived its gentle life. We can learn so much from animals.
Jodi/Hbird; So true – and I also stand corrected about the fun of having fish for pets! Your fish sounds very special and funny! They are just so beautiful too. I miss the huge Koi and Black-eyed Moors I used to have in an outside pond.
My cats bring me lots of laughs and smiles but they also make me a bit more ill at times for sure. There will probably always be some sort of physical cost to having a cat or two if you have M.E.
Mine will sometimes choose the day I have a cold fever and am trying to pass out (so I can wake up again for the day and 'get a better offer' with my health) to decide to race through the cat flap with a bang 20 times in about as many minutes. Or they'll decide that they would like to be patted and played with at 4 am, and so will sit at my gate and howl at me until I get up -despite the fact this tactic has never once worked for them! These sorts of things can be maddening and when it makes me very severely ill and in 10/10 agony it can make me dream for a few seconds of giving them a Homer Simpson style strangle!
My cat Ziggy also recently knocked over and smashed six eggs I had painstakingly painted for an upcoming exhibition, and that I then had to repaint with only 2 weeks to do them in, the little....lovely cat!
There is also cat hair over EVERYTHING, all the time! (Next time I am buying cats that match my carpet colour, or vice versa!)
Overall I get far more from them than I lose of course, and mostly they are well behaved and the cost of having them on my health is quite small. There are also financial costs too which must be considered, with almost all of us that have M.E. living in poverty or somewhere close to it.
Alison/TINK: They can be more valuable than most people realise on first thought
When my beautiful 'friends' dog died last year, I remember saying to her how I understand the loss of having someone who looks at you without knowing your life. I hate the eyes people unintentionally look at me with nowadays. They look at me with a combination of pity, unrealized judgement, and without looking at me as a person if that makes sense. Pets don't see greasy hair or a person lying down. To have a pet who gives you uncomplicated love, love without knowing your life-- just knowing 'you', can be invaluable.
Jodi/HBIRD: Yes, that is it exactly Tink.
When I was first ill my cat Weeble felt like the only one who was there to give me support and love. The only one that didn't judge or question me .It is hard to write about how bad things were back then. Or even to remember it. I was so ill my memory is quite hazy too, which is probably a good thing mostly.
Alison/Tink; Pets can also be great confidants. Personally, I know I hide so much of the realities of having M.E from almost everyone that I know. Talking to a pet, having someone to actually be fully truthful with, even more honest than you may be with yourself, can be vitally important.
Jodi/Hbird; Today my cats add a focus to my day and my life, and they are a constant topic of light and amusing conversation with my family, and a good daily distraction from the difficulties of life with M.E. It is also nice to have someone really excited to see you when you get up each and every morning!
Their individual little personalities are so interesting too. They are both such sweeties and so nice natured. (Unless you are an insect or very small animal of course! The opinions of cockroaches, spiders and scorpions may vary.)
I wish all the M.E. patients I know could improve their health enough to be able to have a pet at least, that would be so wonderful. You too Tink. (((Hug for all M.E. patients that must spend most of their time completely alone, for now))))
I have actually just finished a photo book featuring a selection of my Geesha and Ziggy paintings, it is called 'Super cute, vicious, dreamy cats.' I'm really excited about this being finalised, as I started this series of paintings in about 2008.
The book also includes a little bit about me and some of the facts of M.E. -I like the education by stealth idea a lot when it comes to M.E.!
Alison/TINK: As a special competition, we are giving away one paperback copy of Jodi's wonderful new book to a reader here! (See link below for info on the book or how to order your own copy) The winner will be picked at random from everyone who comments on this blog post, either via the comment stream below or via emailing us at contactalisonlouisebell@gmail.com
To enter, simply tell us about your pets. Share how have your pets helped you cope with the daily struggles of having M.E., What pets do you have, What do they mean to you, and what things do they do that you love the most. Or even send us pictures of your pets!
We can't wait to hear your answers and for them to help other readers too!!
So for now, we hope that you have enjoyed this our 3rd official blog discussion, and that you will return here soon. We are loving getting to know you all and are mightily grateful of the community that you are all helping to create.
Best wishes, Much love and Blessings
The Tinkerbelle and Hummingbird M.E. Blog
x x
Link to Jodi's book ;
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/super-cute-vicious-dreamy-cats/18938308
'Dogs do not appreciate time that is set by convention; they do not divide a day up into minutes or hours, nor do they think in terms of weeks or months or years. A dog does not tremble at the thought of his own mortality; i doubt if a dog ever thinks about a time when he will no longer be alive. So when we are with a dog , we, too enter a kind of timeless realm, where the future becomes irrelevant'
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