Alison/TINK: Welcome our beautiful Blogger Arme to out 3rd official discussion.
We hope that you are as comfortable as can be
So many of us M.E. sufferers, especially those of us who are house bound, often face intense isolation.
Too much human contact can cause dramatic increases in our symptomology.
So many turn to, and rely on, pets for companionship and friendship. The quote 'Pets devour the loneliness. They give us purpose, responsibility, a reason for getting up in the morning and a reason to look to the future' is more apt for ill people than words can often manifest.
For me personally, I am too ill for a pet. But I can very much understand the unmatchable value that a pet can bring.
I spend almost all of my time on my own. It is the only way I can 'cope' with life.
But I know of many people with various severe illnesses who rely on their pets almost more than they rely on human contact.
What role do your pets play in your life and health Jodi?
Jodi/HBIRD: For me and for many other people that have M.E. (and other serious diseases) our pets play an important role in keeping us going and getting us through the days.
I have two cats; Geesha and Ziggy. I love them both to bits.
My cats have kept me company for so many thousands of hours that I would otherwise have spent completely alone. Being alone but having a cat or two for company is so much nicer than just being completely alone. To me it really makes a difference.
M.E. makes you so isolated, because even a little bit of time spent in the company of another person and having simple conversation can be too much to cope with without relapse very often. Severe M.E. means spending almost all of your time with little human company or contact.
My two cats also make me laugh out loud at least once a day and often a lot more. They are such funny little things and always up to something new.
Alison/Tink; Want to share a humorous example sweetie, share their joy?
Jodi/Hbird; You know I do!
One day my cat Geesha was running around my dayroom chasing something. It seemed to get away from her and she started turning left and right to try and find it. Looking everywhere. Then she turned around one more time and I saw the most enormous spider stuck to her side, holding on for dear life! It was hiding from her there. Geesha had no idea and kept turning around looking for the thing, looking more and more confused at where it could have got to. I laughed so hard it hurt!
(Then I quickly got her outside so she could shake off the spider out there of course!)
I could go on and on with dozens of funny anecdotes, but I'll spare you that. I realise they may only be funny to me!
Daily laughs for someone with M.E.are such a special thing, and so important. With all the grim realities we face who needs to laugh more than us!
Alison/TINK: I have a most treasured 'friend' who suffers terribly from a horrible brain illness. She gets extremely dizzy regularly. Due to this she remains alone with her wonderful husband most of her time. The only ventures out were with him, and they were short and controlled. Then she got her beloved dog. With her dog by her side, my friend found the confidence to go on short walls, knowing that if she had a bad turn, she was not alone. I know that this is an example of many M.E. sufferers too who would otherwise be unable to take short walks alone.
However for those of us who are house bound, even having a pet can be too much. I could not cope with their movement or noise.
Jodi/HBIRD: Yes, not everyone with M.E. will be well enough to have a pet, sadly. Having a pet and not being well enough to see it much can also be terrible.
Dogs are difficult because they need walking -something impossible for most M.E. patients. Cats are easier than dogs and there are also birds and mice and rats to consider, depending on your own illness level and which animals you like and dislike. (Rats aren't for everyone!)
I'm not sure about fish. The noise from the tropical fish filters I find absolutely excruciating for one thing and also, although they are low maintenance they are also not very interactive.
Alison/Tink; I don't know, I used to have a Goldfish when I was younger (so no noisy filter required thank goodness) She was amazing. What they say about fish having a 2 second memory is untrue, she knew where we fed her. She would also do this uber cool, totally weird thing of keeping her mouth closed when you'd talk to her but open and bub it when you'd need an answer!
A few years ago I read an article about an ill lady who found solace and inspiration in a snail of all things. She also learnt how to be peaceful and still by watching the general way the quiet snail lived its gentle life. We can learn so much from animals.
Jodi/Hbird; So true – and I also stand corrected about the fun of having fish for pets! Your fish sounds very special and funny! They are just so beautiful too. I miss the huge Koi and Black-eyed Moors I used to have in an outside pond.
My cats bring me lots of laughs and smiles but they also make me a bit more ill at times for sure. There will probably always be some sort of physical cost to having a cat or two if you have M.E.
Mine will sometimes choose the day I have a cold fever and am trying to pass out (so I can wake up again for the day and 'get a better offer' with my health) to decide to race through the cat flap with a bang 20 times in about as many minutes. Or they'll decide that they would like to be patted and played with at 4 am, and so will sit at my gate and howl at me until I get up -despite the fact this tactic has never once worked for them! These sorts of things can be maddening and when it makes me very severely ill and in 10/10 agony it can make me dream for a few seconds of giving them a Homer Simpson style strangle!
My cat Ziggy also recently knocked over and smashed six eggs I had painstakingly painted for an upcoming exhibition, and that I then had to repaint with only 2 weeks to do them in, the little....lovely cat!
There is also cat hair over EVERYTHING, all the time! (Next time I am buying cats that match my carpet colour, or vice versa!)
Overall I get far more from them than I lose of course, and mostly they are well behaved and the cost of having them on my health is quite small. There are also financial costs too which must be considered, with almost all of us that have M.E. living in poverty or somewhere close to it.
Alison/TINK: They can be more valuable than most people realise on first thought
When my beautiful 'friends' dog died last year, I remember saying to her how I understand the loss of having someone who looks at you without knowing your life. I hate the eyes people unintentionally look at me with nowadays. They look at me with a combination of pity, unrealized judgement, and without looking at me as a person if that makes sense. Pets don't see greasy hair or a person lying down. To have a pet who gives you uncomplicated love, love without knowing your life-- just knowing 'you', can be invaluable.
Jodi/HBIRD: Yes, that is it exactly Tink.
When I was first ill my cat Weeble felt like the only one who was there to give me support and love. The only one that didn't judge or question me .It is hard to write about how bad things were back then. Or even to remember it. I was so ill my memory is quite hazy too, which is probably a good thing mostly.
Alison/Tink; Pets can also be great confidants. Personally, I know I hide so much of the realities of having M.E from almost everyone that I know. Talking to a pet, having someone to actually be fully truthful with, even more honest than you may be with yourself, can be vitally important.
Jodi/Hbird; Today my cats add a focus to my day and my life, and they are a constant topic of light and amusing conversation with my family, and a good daily distraction from the difficulties of life with M.E. It is also nice to have someone really excited to see you when you get up each and every morning!
Their individual little personalities are so interesting too. They are both such sweeties and so nice natured. (Unless you are an insect or very small animal of course! The opinions of cockroaches, spiders and scorpions may vary.)
I wish all the M.E. patients I know could improve their health enough to be able to have a pet at least, that would be so wonderful. You too Tink. (((Hug for all M.E. patients that must spend most of their time completely alone, for now))))
I have actually just finished a photo book featuring a selection of my Geesha and Ziggy paintings, it is called 'Super cute, vicious, dreamy cats.' I'm really excited about this being finalised, as I started this series of paintings in about 2008.
The book also includes a little bit about me and some of the facts of M.E. -I like the education by stealth idea a lot when it comes to M.E.!
Alison/TINK: As a special competition, we are giving away one paperback copy of Jodi's wonderful new book to a reader here! (See link below for info on the book or how to order your own copy) The winner will be picked at random from everyone who comments on this blog post, either via the comment stream below or via emailing us at contactalisonlouisebell@gmail.com
To enter, simply tell us about your pets. Share how have your pets helped you cope with the daily struggles of having M.E., What pets do you have, What do they mean to you, and what things do they do that you love the most. Or even send us pictures of your pets!
We can't wait to hear your answers and for them to help other readers too!!
So for now, we hope that you have enjoyed this our 3rd official blog discussion, and that you will return here soon. We are loving getting to know you all and are mightily grateful of the community that you are all helping to create.
Best wishes, Much love and Blessings
The Tinkerbelle and Hummingbird M.E. Blog
x x
Link to Jodi's book ;
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/super-cute-vicious-dreamy-cats/18938308
'Dogs do not appreciate time that is set by convention; they do not divide a day up into minutes or hours, nor do they think in terms of weeks or months or years. A dog does not tremble at the thought of his own mortality; i doubt if a dog ever thinks about a time when he will no longer be alive. So when we are with a dog , we, too enter a kind of timeless realm, where the future becomes irrelevant'
©TheTinkerbelle+HummingbirdM.E.Blog
13 comments:
I would just like to say thankyou for remembering me the role my pet does , As i must have so much brain fog i could not see it/ i would totaly be on my own without my pet in the house.
I have two wonderful dogs, a big retriever and a sweet little shih tzu, although I would not be able to take care of the big one myself. My husband walks him and he (the dog, not DH) goes to dog daycare. When he was an overly energetic pup, he went to daycare almost every day, and came home tired and ready to rest with me. They are such important company for me. The big one also helps me feel safe when my husband is away on business, fairly often. I would have a poor social life indeed if not for my 'pack.'
Just got 2 chickens. Been ill cus of tooth infection but well enough today to prop up on sofa and watch them in the garden. Nice to see some life and movement. Funny when cat tried stalking them and then got scared of them when they came up to her.
Fortunately my kids can help with pet care.
I have severe ME and I have two boas; snakes make stellar pets for anyone who is seriously ill and unable to manage high-maintenance animals. They can provide companionship when it is wanted, but are quite happy to be left alone when you are not feeling well, even if that happens to be for long stretches. Adults can go 2-4 weeks between feedings and require very little maintenance once their enclosures are properly set up, other than making sure they have adequate clean water. They are exceptionally clean animals, they make no noise, and cause no damage to the house. They do have their own distinct "personalities" and will cuddle with you while you watch tv, etc. I have VERY severe allergies to anything with fur of any kind, so they made a perfect choice for me as they are the ultimate hypoallergenic pets. Certainly they are not for everyone, but like all carnivores (cats and dogs of all kinds consume far more "prey" than snakes, who work hard to control the rodent population in the wild) they have their role to play in the global ecosystem. Gabriel and Toby (my boas) say hello! :-)
I do not know what I would do without my two girls; Ellie is a 9 yr old Lab X & Anya a 7 yr old Tibetan Terrier. Both were part of our family before I was diagnosed. They are the reason I get out of bed every day. They keep me company, make me laugh, comfort me & we have great conversations lol.
Anya is intune with me. I call her my little nurse. If I'm in bed having a tough time she doesn't leave me unless Ellie is there. She periodically comes up to the top of the bed to check on me. Most of my "attacks" (don't know what else to call them) happen in the early hours so I go downstairs. Within minutes she's with me pawing me to stroke her. She keeps doing it & won't let me stop until the pain eases then she goes to sleep next to me. She only comes down if it's an attack - no other time!!
I would be absolutely lost without my girls. I adore them. My hubby comes a close second (just kidding).
This will be confusing because since 20+ years my nickname at home and online has been Tink. But I promise you Allison and I are not one and the same Tink ;-) I'm Tink who lives in Portland Oregon USA and am an expat from Europe.
Just thought I would explain. ;-)
I have 3 evil catz, evil because the make my dog's life hell. Just kidding of course. ;-) They are a special breed that does not shed, or hardly shed. They have a curly single coat that is so soft. They are heat monsters always in search of the most warm place in the house. In summer they spend their time in the sunroom soaking up the sun, in winter they lazely lie on the heating pads. They need heating pads because their fur is not enough to keep them warm on ice cold nights. They have a funny look, a bt like gremlins, they not shedding has proved to be a great feature. They als have a funny character and I call them a cross between a monkey and a cat. They are very agile!
My husband build the a cat walk through the house, attached to the ceiling with cat condos in between to rest and sleep and hide/. We build it because we felt sorry they could not go out. It's not save for them to be out plus they might get stolen. And we also buld the catwalk because we thought they would be safe up there from the dogs. We have herding breeds that love to herd kitties. However it proofed to be the other way around. The dogs are safe below while the cats are up there. ;-) They torture the dogs by jumping ll of a sudden on them or sitting behind a chair and hisssssssss. They make great entertainment. My first Devon is Nyx a female kitty. When she was small I had one of those baby slings that I carried her in because they are very attached to humans they always want to sit on you or crawl under your shirt. That was getting annoying when I wanted to work on the computer. It's not easy to hold a kitty and type with one hand. Than one day I saw a pic of a person with a baby sling and a Devon and I purchased one and my problems were over! The problem now is that they are BIG kitties and want to sleep with 2 in the sling. ;-) I spoil them rotten. I think that's what they are for, to be spoiled and loved rotten ;-)
I lost my therapy dog Gwen due to Lymphoma. Because I was 'active' in Border Collie rescue and still am but only from my bed and do postings etc. on good days, but no foster anymore, we have 2 other Border Collies. I love them both deeply but Gwen and I had a special bond, hard to explain but she was my heart dog. Losing her made my illness progress. I promised her I would fight this illness because she did not want to leave me even though she was too ill to care for me. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. They bring us so much joy, I owned it to her to not let her suffer any longer. I wish they would live longer though.
We have a wonderful calico cat named Pita. We got her about a year ago from the animal shelter. At first I was reluctant to get a lively, energetic kitten, but as she gets older, she's turning into the perfect lap kitty. When I'm sick, she lays next to me and purrs and it's very soothing. Best of all, when I'm well enough to go for a short walk, she walks with me. She just loves our company
Hi Blogger arme! Realised we hadn't set a closing date for this wonderful competition.
It is Sunday June 24th.
Winner will be announced shortly after.
Good luck everyone, loving your comments!
Alison x
The ME blogger is a good idea. Thanks for the efforts.
However, this article has me crying. HOW IN THE WORLD do you think that a VERY ILL ME patient can take care of a pet?
I can't get anybody to take care of ME, much less a pet.
Nice idea, but I am extremely isolated, as all my friends and family have stopped visiting/helping.
This blog made me feel MUCH WORSE.
Dear sir/ma'am.
I am sorry that we made you feel upset. As we wrote several times, not everyone is well enough for a pet, myself for example. This specific post was aimed at those who are housebound or bedridden but who are able to have a pet. We want to cater for every level of sufferer which means covering different subjects that are level specific. I hope we will have some posts that are more suited to your level.
If you feel alone, feel free to email me and we can chat.
Once again i am sorry you got upset.
Alison x
It's lovely to hear people talking about animals. I have horses, dogs and cats AND M.E. - how is it possible? Friends help out of course, I live alone and foster for the local dog shelter taking the dogs that are terrified of the human race - these dogs want to be left alone but will, over a period of months, accept that this very benign human being that spends many hours on her reclining chair is utterly non-threatening but does provide food and water! One door from this room opens onto the specially made 'dog yard' so that they can play at any time with or without human interference! Over time these dogs come round and are able to be slotted back into the 'system' to find their new home - so I do have a purpose and have many special moments such as touching a dog for the first time or having a dog take a huge sigh and finally relaxing in my company - very special rewards and tremendously useful 'work'! The horses graze freely year round though there are stables. I don't ride anymore but deal with behaviour - again I have learned from them and from my limitations that with horses 'less is more'. A movement from my fingers is sufficient to make a horse step back, when I can sit on a chair on the stable yard or in the field, I can 'join the herd' and take part in the 'being' part of nature. I have four stallions, all in the same field, with mares - by normal horse keeping 'rules' they should have ripped each other to pieces, but taking time to be 'with' them in their herd, (of which I am the lead mare!) I have learned that the boys have a heirarchy and one will take advantage of the mares and the others almost seem to switch their hormones off - so my stallions are friendly, calm and I trust them - compare this to other stallions kept behind bars who bite and kick given half a chance - but wouldn't you if you as a social animal only mixed with others for the reproductive side of your nature and lost all the other social aspects of your nature - but then we know about the last aspect all too well! This years foals are an utter delight to watch and 'be' with as they explore their 'first' human being - the boys do it with their teeth, the girls are much gentler! Cats as well of course, though they have a side of the house away from the dogs! So M.E. has given me the opportunity to spend time 'being' with my animals and learning from them, which was not a possibility when I worked full time and rode at weekends or when I left work and was still able to ride occasionally and to go out and 'do' things on a regular basis. So M.E. has given me the chance to learn about my animals in a very unique way. Finally, Blue is a large sled dog who pulls a cart, so if I do go out in the fields he can come with me and can bring me back if I find I've walked too far - he also pulls small loads of anything I need to 'carry' - and loves it. They keep me sane, give me purpose, provide laughter, frustration, emotional variety and a routine (which is basically that there isn't one! - everyone here has to be totally flexible - we run by 'my' clock which bears no resemblance to the real time!) Without them and the need to serve them my life would be very narrow and much poorer and M.E. would have taken a much greater toll. It has taken years to change my home to a property that fits round M.E. and my animals - but that process in itself, the problem solving aspect of the many practical problems that managing animals throws up, has given me a purpose and sense of achievement.
When I first got ill, as a teenager, my parents got me a cat. He was the best company - a real lap cat - and he could sense my feelings and knew when I was upset and just needed companionship. He used to rub me with his head and lick my tears when they fell. He also brought so much fun and laughter into my life. It is that simple, unconditional love that pets are so great at.
However I live by myself now, far from any family, and, although I would love to have a cat, I don't think I could cope with one by myself. It's not just how you would cope with feeding them, when you can't even feed yourself, and how you would get them to the vets... it's needing that quiet, uninterupted sleep without something furry jumping on your head or yowling in your ear when they want attention at 6am!
...Is there anywhere you can get a 'timeshare' cat? Perhaps we should club together and have shared custody ;-)
I have a 13 year old pug named Daisy. She sleeps 23 hours a day, just waking up for food and to go outside. She can only walk around the block, and then gets exhausted. I tell everyone "She's just my speed!"
I got her when she was 8 weeks old, a few years before I got sick, so I was able to train her and enjoy her crazy puppy years.
I feel very fortunate to have her, but when she passes I don't know if I'll be able to keep anything except maybe a goldfish.
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